Nutters

At any given moment, on any given carriage, there is a nutter on the Underground. It's said that in London you’re never more than five metres away from a rat. Well the same applies to nutters on the Underground.

Now, when that person is not immediately apparent and everyone seems relatively normal, I wonder whether on this particular carriage, at this particular moment, am I the nutter?

Do people look at me and question my sanity the same way I look at them and question theirs?

Perhaps they are wondering if being enclosed with me in a space fifty-metres below the ground requires an immediate rethink? Am I prone to spontaneously lashing out at innocent passengers? Or will I take a shit in an empty McDonalds bag before flinging it around the carriage? Maybe I’m one of those rare monsters that try to hold eye contact for longer than a split second before smiling in an all too innocent way.

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