Dali drawer

I was clearing out a drawer in my house earlier, it’s the type of drawer that most households have, at least if it's a house thats been lived in a long time by the same people. It's the drawer that’s so crammed full of random objects collected over the years that just to look inside it is a complete head fuck.

‘Hey, what are these corn on the cob skewers doing next to a cassette tape of Phil Collins, and about this ball of string, is there a reason it’s with the picture of me, almost 20 years ago, on the Vampire ride at Chesington World of Adventures. And batteries, star shaped ice cube trays, a watch strap, plastic bands, peseta coins, chap stick, a recipe for rice pudding torn out from a paper. Oh and hears that lighter with a picture of Daffy Duck on it, that’s where it went!’

How and why some of these objects were ever put in the same draw is beyond my comprehension. Over the years this drawer has accumulated a juxtaposition of objects that even Salvador Dali couldn’t dream up.

But unlike the lobster telephone, these juxtapositions exist together unobserved, in the darkness of a closed drawer.

Eventually these drawers evolve into a state of no return, they become non-spaces, never to be acknowledged, let alone opened. We walk past them everyday but they have long ceased to be a functional unit.

Opening it is more trouble than it’s worth. If you open that drawer you’d better be ready for business, you’ll probably not be able to close it again what with it’s contents spewing out all over the floor, seizing the opportunity to be put somewhere more suitable or just simply yearning to be remembered, held once more by a human hand.

And by opening that drawer you risk catching sight of a particular object from your childhood. An object that you had long forgotten about but now looks judgingly at the adult face of the young child that you once were, weighing heavy with nostalgic longing. Such reunions with once dear objects are usually emotionally draining, teary eyed embraces that could last up to hours, wholly distracting you from your task of cleaning out the drawer.

If during your spring clean this year you decide to tackle that drawer then you will do well to take heed of this piece of advise. Get a bin liner, position it under the drawer, close your eyes, remove the drawer entirely and tip its contents straight into the bin. If you’ve gone long enough without knowing exactly what’s in that drawer then you really don’t need to know now. It’s only when you start rooting around in there and rummaging through the layers of history that you’ll soon find yourself in an inextricable situation.

‘How’, you will ask yourself, ‘can I throw this away!? This sticker of Macho Man Randy Savage! My favourite galaxy marble! A horse shaped bottle opener! Yes, I will keep it, I must. I’ll find somewhere to keep it. A drawer, a fresh drawer.’

Then you will find another draw to commandeer, you will start well, perhaps years will pass and it will remain a ‘normal’ drawer. But eventually that drawer will become colonized by trinkets and other such objects. It will inevitably succumb to the fate of its predecessor and need clearing out, thus, the cycle continues.